"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord!" - Psalm 31:24
I find myself waking up at six in the morning getting ready to face teenagers in high school. Yes! I am back to work. It has been exhausting but fulfilling. I feel like I can focus on kids instead of me. For the last two years it seems like I have had to focus inward constantly. It feels good to put some focus on something as worthwhile as high schoo kids. It has been a little difficult to get back into a routine but I am so thankful to Our Lord, for giving me the energy and fulfillment that I have.
The staff at my school were so loving and caring while I was in my recovery phase. They still want to help and take care of me. Although, some things have changed, I feel as though I was never gone from my job. I am very blessed in every facet of life.
I am nearing the second anniversary of my stem-cell bone marrow transplant. It will be two years March 8th. That has become my second birthday. Not many people get to have a second birthday. I plan to celebrate this extrodanary gift of life that day! Everyday that I have had since the transplant has been a wonder. I found my strenth in The Lord just like Psam 31 says "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." I have put all my hope and trust in Our Lord and I truly believe that He rewarded me.
I will have another bone marrow biopsy in March and if it is good that will be my last one. I can't remember if that will be my 7th bone marrow biopsy. After four or five I stopped keeping track. Just for the record they are really not that bad, I even do mine without sedation. I like knowing that I can handle a little pain, it makes me feel strong and alive.
I like to think that I learned so much about myself and my journey through life to this point. Yet, I'm not sure what it is that God wants from me. Is it to be here for my kids and grand kids? I never would have known the amazing bounty of love that I could feel for my precious grand babies. They have certainly changed me. Is it to continue to work with kids with disabilities? Is it to continue to be a partner and helpmate to my amazing husband? Is it all of those things and more? But wait! What's the more? I try to meditate in prayer asking God to show me to let me know what more I should be doing. I am like a kid, my mind too distracted to hear my Father. Maybe what HE has planned for me is just what I'm doing. Maybe I just need to do it better. I just don't know!
As I begin everyday I thank Our Father for the day and I ask Him to guide me and let me do His will. I ask him to let me be kind and compassionate and loving like He is. I hope that Our Lord will help me to see what more I should do for Him. I pray that He give me the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the desire and passion to do it no matter what! Until I figure it out pray for me and I will pray for you!
