It's been a couple of months since I have written anything. Sometimes life just calls us to attend to other things. It seems that there was just too much going on and let's face it ... I got lazy. The past couple of months have been a time of transition for Ernie and I. Our daughters moved out and it was a bit of a chore. It's amazing how many things your kids accumulate while they live with you, and for some reason they can't take it all with them.We have now become a storage facility for all they left behind!
So what's life like without kids in the house? It is quiet and not as messy. I miss having kids at home, the noise and laughter, and the sheer joy. I am learning to appreciate the peace and quiet with Ernie. We see our girls and our grandson often and relish the time we spend together. I only wish we could see Josh and Brittany more often. It is difficult as they live on the east coast. They are about to have their first child and we will soon have a second grandson. We can hardy wait to meet him! Our family is growing and I will treasure every moment we have with them. I will never take for granted the short amount of time we have in life with loved ones. Our kids have brought us so much joy and love over the years, and Ernie and I are so thankful to God for our precious family.
Today marks two years to the day that I was admitted to Porter-Adventist Hospital, and the madness of my fight with leukemia began. Today I celebrate life! I am now living a very normal life, feeling pretty darn wonderful and for that I am so thankful to Our Lord! I have recently returned to work - Woo Hoo! It was with a little trepidation by my hubby that I went back to work. Teaching in a school certainly has risks when you have a compromised immune system. Although I am still taking immune suppressants, I am slowly being weaned off of them. When my doctor agreed that I could go back to work with a few restrictions, I was really excited. It made me feel that I was normal again. Ernie was not as excited as I was. He has been so protective of me that it took him some time to embrace it. I had to promise him that I would take every precaution before he agreed to let me go back. Everyone at my school is so supportive and helpful, it has been an easy transition back.
As I look back on my journey, I think of my battle with leukemia as a time of healing and not suffering. Though, my family also saw it as a healing process they will tell you that I did experience suffering, and I likewise saw them suffering. When you think of suffering, it has many definitions, applications and meanings. It is indeed a mystery. As I have found out, through faith, we not only find our way out of the darkness of our own suffering, but share that of others - and it is only through Our Lord, that we are comforted. All this happens for His reasons, and we are His instruments of faith while we live in this world. My hubby recently shared a reflection he read in which St. Paul writes to the citizens of Corinth about suffering; We should feel that the weight of our suffering is light in comparison with what God has prepared for us. Furthermore, people who offer up their suffering are comforted and filled with peace in the midst of their suffering! Our Father God is always near to his children, but especially when they are suffering. "For as we share abundantly in Christs' sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." (2 Cor 1:5).
I know that Our Lord has graced me with healing through the works of wonderful health professionals, and the care of my amazing family. In spite of my poor prognosis, a 20 percent chance of survival, the Lord wanted life for me. I was faithful and Our Lord rewarded me with lightness, comfort, and healing. I truly believed from the time of my diagnosis that the Lord would heal me. I remember right after my stem-cell bone marrow transplant, I was taking close to 30 prescription pills a day and receiving daily magnesium infusions in my central line-port. I was also going to my oncologist once a week. Now I am down to 8 prescription pills a day and that will continue to decrease, the port in my chest is gone, and I am seeing my oncologist every two months.
As I find myself back into a normal life situation I desire with all my heart not to lose sight of what God is calling me to do in my life. I want to honor God every day. I want others to see Christ in me. That is a tall order I know. It is something that a miserable sinner like me will have to work hard at. Above all things I want to please Our Father. Please pray for me that I may do so.
